BB: Twelfth Night, The Speeches

Welcome Brawlers to the speeches (and scenes) podcast of Twelfth Night!

As usual, we’ve picked out a few memorable or interesting moments from our recording of Twelfth Night. It was a blast to read and record.

No nobles were maimed in the recording of this podcast.

“O that I served that lady…” Act 1, Scene 2, lns 42-60
Speakers: Captain, Viola
In this scene, Viola washes up on shore and realises the following two things:

“I am a young, unmarried woman with no chaperone. I have no father or brother around to guard me from any potential suitors. This is a dangerous situation. I could be raped or claimed as booty at any time!“
“I am a young, unmarried woman with no chaperone. I have no father or brother around to guard me from any potential suitors. This is an awesome situation. If I play my cards right, I will actually get the choose my own husband!“

So what is her proposed solution? Dress up in her twin brother’s clothes and hide out as an eunuch. By the way, eunuch here doesn’t necessarily mean a castrated man but rather a chamberlain, someone who takes care of someone’s bedchamber. It’s a pretty good description of what Viola is supposed to be doing: finding a way to get Olivia into Orsino’s bedchamber. Instead she manages to put exactly who she wants in that bedchamber – herself. Clever girl.

Daniel thought it was pretty interesting to consider that in a play where the main character spends over 95% of the length of the play in disguise, she should be so quick to judge the captain’s trustworthiness based on his looks. I agree.

“Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her…” Act 2, Scene 2, lns 13-41
Speakers: Malvolio, Viola
We were pretty sure that Malvolio and Viola didn’t really interact in the play but this scene proves us wrong. It’s especially shameful on our part given that this is one of the most well-known speeches in Twelfth Night.

Olivia, who is trying to nail Cesario, send him a ring via Malvolio. It’s as soon as he leaves Viola with this ring that she realises what’s going on here: Viola loves Orsino but can’t have him without exposing her identity; Orsino is expecting Viola to win Olivia for him which means that Viola won’t be able to get him. To make matters worse, Olivia seems to be in love with Cesario… but has no clue that Cesario is actually a woman.

Does Viola freak out? Nope. She just assumes that this will all work itself out in the end somehow in time.

Huh. I guess she must have read this play already.

By the way, what will we ever do without Zoey nearby?

“What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady…” Act 2, Scene 3, lns 68-112
Speakers: Maria, Sir Toby Belch, Feste the Clown, Sir Andrew Aguecheek
When it comes to Sir Toby, Aguecheek and company, there are so many entertaining moments that it’s hard to choose. Honestly, we picked this scene (and let it play for a while) because we love Jay Reid’s drunken singing so much.

Can you hear us all laughing our asses off in the background? Yeah, that’s the idea. Lest anybody get confused: we’re not interested in scholarship and research, deep insights and exploring the meaning of it all. We like reading Shakespeare because we find it fun to do, to mess around with and to mess up. Often.

There are enough people who take their Shakespeare like cod liver oil: good for you but tastes awful. I say you should let the kids have a damned hot-dog from time to time. They don’t need to know it’s a nitrate-free, 100% certified organic grass-fed beef super hot-dog that costs about $40 for a package of 12.

Pass the relish!

“M, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the former: and…” Act 2, Scene 5, lns 131-150
Speakers: Malvolio
This scene of Malvolio reading a letter aloud may contain one of the most often misquoted speeches in Shakespeare. It’s not that people get the words wrong, it’s that they use the quote completely out of context.

How many of you have heard some or all of this before?

be not afraid of greatness: some
are born great, some achieve greatness, and some
have greatness thrust upon ’em

Fellow trekkies may remember a certain episode of DS9 where Worf recalls a very similar speech which was allegedly spoken by Kahless to convince general Martok to claim the mantle of leadership of the Klingon high council.

Do you find these words encouraging? Do they make you want to risk everything on the chance of success? Do they inspire your to seek out your destiny?

On their own, they might. But this ‘speech’ is in a letter, written by Maria, which has only one purpose: to goad Malvolio into making a pass at his boss so Maria, Sir Toby and the other can make fun of him when he gets shot down.

I always thought that Worf liked you Martok but I seems he’s just an ass looking for a good laugh at your expense.

“This is the air; that is the glorious sun…” Act 4, scene 3, lns 1-21
Speakers: Sebastian
This is one another one of the commonly quoted speeches in this play. It’s Sebastian’s ‘pinch me now, I must be dreaming’ moment.

And why shouldn’t he think this? Antonio gave him a pouch of money to keep and hasn’t asked for it back and Olivia, a beautiful and wealthy widow, married him within moments of meeting him.

Easiest booty call ever.

What surprises me about this speech is that Sebastian is looking for Antonio so he can get an explanation for what is going. Why not ask Olivia: “Hi. Thank you for your interest in me. I am flattered and looking forward to our nuptial hour. However, could you please explain to me who you think I am so I can do my best to meet your expectations? Thank you.”

I guess he figures that if it is a dream, he’s not about to ruin it by risking an argument with his sugar mommy wife.

In the next two weeks the Bard Brawl is about to start its seventh play. How awesome is that?

Even more awesome: I promise you pirates! (Your experience may vary. Results not typical.)

But first, stay tuned for our next sonnets podcast which will be up shortly.

Sonnet 34 read by first time sonneteer Jay Reid.

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Thank you for your response. ✨

July 7, 2013 1

BB: Twelfth Night, Act V

artwork – Leigh MacRae

“… let no quarrel nor no brawl to come taint the condition of this present hour,” Fabian

Welcome back to Twelfth Night, Brawlers. This week we wrap up our recording of the play so get ready for act V!

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Only one scene in this act but it’s a pretty wild one.

Orsino, that lazy, pathetic ass, has finally decided that if he wants Olivia he should probably make some sort of effort himself to win her over. He runs into Feste and Fabian outside of Olivia’s house. Insert a couple of jokes about friends and asses before Orsino sends Feste to fetch Olivia. While he waits, Viola (yup, still disguised as Cesario) notices Antonio being lead before the Duke by an officer. Orsino immediately recognises him as a pirate, but Viola tries to plead for mercy as Antonio defended her from Sir Toby and Andrew Aguecheek’s attacks.

Antonio attempts to defend his presence in Illyria by explaining that he was bewitched by Sebastian’s good looks and obvious character into making stupid decisions like exposing himself to the death penalty by being caught wandering the streets of Illyria. To make matters worse, he accuses Viola (thinking it’s Sebastian) of having refused to give back the money he had given him in trust. Of course, everybody thinks he’s a little nuts because Viola honestly has no clue what the hell he’s talking about. Both Orsino and Antonio claim to have been with “Viola” for the last 3 months.

Olivia arrives and once again refuses Orsino’s advances. To make matters worse, she hits on ‘Cesario’ who she thinks she just married an act ago. When Viola says she plans on following the person she loves, Orsino, Olivia accuses her ‘husband’ of being unfaithful. Viola denies it, of course, but just then – by total coincidence – the priest comes in and backs Olivia.

Moments later, Aguecheek comes in asking for a doctor for Sir Toby who was just injured by ‘Cesario.’ More confusion as Aguecheek blames Viola for Sebastian’s actions. As Belch and his buddies are lead out, Sebastian walks on stage. Finally we have both siblings on-stage at once! Olivia seems particularly happy at the prospect of two Cesario’s: “Most wonderful!” I’ll let you finish the porn joke in whatever way seems best to you.

Sebastian and Viola tease out the moment where they finally admit that they’re brother and sister and that, strangely, all of this is totally okay in the end. Olivia is just as happy with Sebastian, Sebastian is all too happy with Olivia’s money; Viola finally gets to have Orsino, who now seems perfectly happy to give up his hot widow for woman he has spent the entire play confusing for a boy. This will make for some interesting swinger parties.

There are a few other loose ends to warp up. They read Malvolio’s letter and realise that maybe he’s not nuts so they may as well let him out of the asylum. Malvolio accuses Olivia of having toyed with him but Olivia denies that she had anything to do with it. Malvolio swears vengeance. I imagine everybody just laughs.

We also learn that Sir Toby and Maria are getting married but I’m sure they won’t be invited to the swinger party.

And then there’s a little N.K.O.T.B.

If you have any suggestions for which speeches you would like us to revisit, now’s the time as next week is the Twelfth Night speeches podcast!

Sonnet 27 read by sonneteer Hannah Dorozio.

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June 29, 2013 1

BB: Twelfth Night, Act IV

Artwork - Stephanie E.M. Coleman — Artwork – Stephanie E.M. Coleman

“This is the air, that is the glorious sun, this pearl she gave me, I do feel’t and see’t…” IV,iii Sebastian.

Listen to or download the podcast.

What do NKOTB and The Neverending Story and Crowded House have to do with Twelfth Night? You’ll have to listen to the next two acts find out!

Welcome Brawlers to act IV of Twelfth Night.

Before everything untangles itself, Shakespeare’s going to up the ante and string us along for another act of mistaken identities and practical jokes.

Cesario (Viola in what has to be one hell of a disguise), is mistaken for Sebastian (Viola’s mystically identical twin brother) by Antonio at the end of act III. In act IV, scene 1, it’s Sebastian’s turn to be confused for Cesario. Feste mistakes him for Sebastian and only leaves after Sebastian gives him some cash. Then, Sir Toby, Fabian and Andrew Aguecheek come on stage, planning to attack the defenseless Cesario but they are beaten by Sebastian who, unlike Viola, is an able swordsman. Olivia shows up, breaks up the fight and invites Sebastian in thinking that she has finally managed to win over Cesario.

Confused yet? You shouldn’t be – I’m sure you’ve had all the practice tracking disguises when you listened to our The Taming of the Shrew Brawl.

Sebastian has never seen Olivia in his life but figures, what the hell? How often does a beautiful, rich widow throw herself at you and offer to give you everything she has? Seems like the natural thing to do. (I’m told it happens to Daniel all the time.)

If it helps, this is a composite image of the Olivia Shakespeare probably had in mind:

While Sebastian follows Olivia ~~Wilde~~ out of her garden and into her ~~sex den~~ house, Maria, Sir Toby and Feste decide that they’re going to spend scene 2 messing with Malvolio. They dress Feste up as a priest who is visiting ‘Malvolio the Lunatic’ to exorcise his demons. They taunt him and toy with him until Sir Toby calls off the prank. He’s afraid that his niece Olivia will get mad at him if he pushes the joke too far. At the end of the act, Malvolio calls for some pen and paper – he means to write a letter proving that he’s not crazy.

The third scene is very short. It’s the marriage of Sebastian and Olivia. I’m not sure how this is supposed to work. Olivia thinks she’s marrying Cesario, Sebastian has no clue who he’s marrying but she’s clearly hot and has a lot of money. (See picture of Shakespeare’s inspiration above if you don’t believe me.) They don’t even have each other’s identities sorted out.

Unless they learn to communicate, I can’t see how this is going to work for either of them.

Join us next week for the final act!

Though you’re far away, you’re near in our hearts Zoey Baldwin here reading sonnet 29.

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June 24, 2013 1

BB: Twelfth Night, Act III

Artwork – Leigh MacRae

“… he is a devil in private brawl,” – Sir Toby Belch, III, iv.

Sir Toby may claim that Andrew Aguecheek is deadly beast behind closed doors and man to man, but we prefer to hold our Brawl in public and en masse!

Welcome back to the Bard Brawl and our latest episode, act III of Twelfth Night!

Listen to or download the podcast.

As it’s been a while, you might also want to revisit our last episode to get into the swing of things.

Apologies for the delay in getting this episode up but a few of the Brawlers have been involved in some moving. Daniel and Stephanie have finally settled into their new place, meaning that “Studio BB” will be back in business shortly to record acts IV and V.

Sadly, this will be the last episode to feature Zoey and Second Jay as they have left Montreal of the California sun. Sad. We wish them all the best and hope they’ll come visit us soon.

Right. Let’s get back into it, shall we?

Viola (still in disguise as Cesario, of course) is waiting outside of Olivia’s house at the start of act III. She is waiting to be admitted with yet another suit from Orsino and is engaged in a witty exchange by Feste, the clown. The two exchange a bunch of jokes about husbands being fools, words being whored out through misuse and overuse, with some punning about the young Cesario ‘wanting’ a beard thrown in for good measure: The beard she ‘wants’ is attached to Orsino’s face, get it?

While she waits, Andrew Aguecheek and Sir Toby arrive and invite Viola in. Before they can enter, however, Olivia meets with them and is left alone with ‘Cesario.’ Olivia is enraptured by ‘Cesario’ and tries to get him to drop his suit on behalf of wooing for himself. She confesses to the ploy with the ring intended to get Cesario back here but Viola doesn’t bite. Viola says ‘Cesario’ won’t return given that it will be impossible to convince Olivia to love Orsino but Olivia ask that Cesario return anyhow, ‘just in case’ he might be able to convince her somehow…

It seems the Aguecheek saw the whole exchange between Cesario and Olivia in the garden and has decided, at the start of scene 2, that he has no chance with Olivia and should probably just leave. Fabian and Sir Toby convince him that what he needs to do is demonstrate his valour by challenging Cesario to a duel. Sir Toby asks him to write a challenge letter which he will deliver to Cesario. Seems like this is another prank and Sir Aguecheek just another fool. Maria arrives and informs that Malvolio’s all dressed up and ready to make a fool of himself.

Antonio catches up to Sebastian on his way to Illyria in scene 3. Despite the danger to himself, Antonio is moved to help Sebastian. We find out that the reason Antonio is a wanted man is because he stole from Orsino and was recognised in fleeing. He hands Sebastian some money and agrees to meet him at an inn called ‘The Elephant.’

Scene 4 is a monster of a scene, with a lot going on.

As the scene starts, Olivia is waiting impatiently for Malvolio. He arrives dressed as the letter suggested, with his bright yellow stocking, cross-gartered. Olivia immediately assumes he’s lost his mind and ask him to go to bed… which of course he takes as an invitation. He starts quoting bits of the letter as he kisses Olivia’s hand. She, of course, has no idea what the hell he’s talking about.

When Cesario is announced, Olivia asks Maria and Sir Toby to take care of the maddened Malvolio. Malvolio, though, assumes that this is just a test and that he’s supposed to exercise his ‘new authority’ over Sir Toby. They toy with him a bit and when Malvolio walks off, they decide to ties him up and put him in a dark room. Sir Andrew then arrives with his challenge letter. As it is a letter which would betray that Aguecheek is a moron, Sir Toby decides to deliver the challenge to Cesario himself, in his own words.

Olivia and Cesario are in the garden replaying the same scene: Olivia trying to convince Cesario to love her, Cesario trying to convince Olivia to love Orsino. When they take their leave, Sir Toby approaches Cesario and issues Aguecheek’s challenge. Of course, Viola is ignorant of any offense she might have given Aguecheek so she asks Sir Toby to find out what exactly Aguecheek is accusing her of. She asks Fabian about Aguecheek cheek and he describes him as a dangerous and skillful warrior. Sir Toby gives basically the same description of Cesario. While both of the combatants hope the combat will be avoided, Sir Toby manipulates them into it and they are interrupted by Antonio as they draw their swords. He has clearly confused Viola for Sebastian. (The impossible identical twins, remember?)

Moments later, some officers arrive and arrest Antonio. Thinking that he’s speaking with Sebastian, Antonio asks for his money back to bail him out of this mess. Viola denies having the money but offers half of what she has to help him. Antonio is incensed that ‘Sebastian’ has denied him but he is taken away by the guards. Viola slips away with Andrew Aguecheek and the others giving chase.

Cue Benny Hill theme song.

Who will be Zoey and Jay’s successors? You’ll have to listen to act IV to find out.

Sonnet 42 read by Jack Konorska.

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June 15, 2013 3

BB: Twelfth Night, Act II

Artwork – Leigh MacRae

Welcome back brawlers to the Bard Brawl. This week we continue with act II of Twelfth Night.

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In the first act of the play, Viola disguises herself as Cesario, the young eunuch page in service to Orsino. Olivia has continued to refuse his advances but though better of his envoy, Cesario. A bit of a problem for everyone involved in that scenario…

Oh, but what do we have here at the start of act II? Why, a young man, washed up on the shore, who bears a striking resemblance to Viola in her Cesario disguise? Hmm… wonder where Shakespeare’s going with that. Anyhow, this is Viola’s brother Sebastian who she thinks is dead but who is – as we can see – very much alive. He was found washed ashore by this Antonio fellow. Sebastian decides that he’ll seek out Orsino (presumably to figure out a way home) and, despite having enemies in Orsino’s court, Antonio is moved by his love for the young man and decides to follow him anyway.

Malvolio, whom Olivia had sent after Cesario, catches up her in scene 2 and gives her a ring. When Viola tries to turn down the ring because it is not hers, Malvolio insists that not only is it her ring but that she threw at Olivia. Malvolio drops the thing on the ground and leaves. This is where Viola realises that maybe her disguise was a little too good. Ooops.

We return to Olivia’s house for scene 3 where Toby Belch, Sir Andrew and Feste the clown are singing, drinking and generally making a racket. Maria comes to tell them to quiet down nut the noise brings Malvolio. He immediately tells Sir Toby that he is only welcome here if he can check his excesses at the door. Sir Toby’s response? Something along the lines of “who the @$&# do you think you are?” He reminds Malvolio that his self-righteous behaviour might make him feel important but he’s still just a twerp. Like my 11 year old niece, Malvolio stomps off to go tell Olivia. They decide that they’ll play a (kind of mean) prank on him to take him down a peg: Maria will forge a fake letter to make Malvolio think that Olivia is in love with him. This is basically going to lead him to make a fool of himself.

This next scene is a little complicated to explain but actually quite simple. Orsino is listening to music when Viola arrives. He notices that ‘Cesario’ seems to be showing the signs that he’s fallen in love. Orsino. Seeing as he can’t feed is own appetite for love, he figures he can at least get some enjoyment
from hearing about ‘Cesario’s’ love interest. Of course, seeing as he is the object of Viola’s love, a lot of his questions are answered with: “she’s kind of a lot like you are. Like exactly.” Orsino says some stuff about how much better men are at love than women but Viola then tells him a story about her ‘sister” unrequited love to show that women love deeper than men. Orsino sends her back to Olivia’s house for more wooing!

The last scene of act II takes place in Olivia’s garden. Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Maria have brought a friend, Fabian, along to watch Malvolio make a fool of himself. They all hide in the bushes. Malvolio walks on the stage talking to himself about how great it would be to be a count. He starts thinking of precedents to ladies marrying underlings. He imagines kicking Sir Toby out, having the run of the house. Eventually, he finds the letter written by Maria. Of course, he decides to read it aloud and describe his thoughts about the cryptic love letter. He ‘brilliantly’ deduces that the letter is written by Olivia and was left there on purpose for him to find it. Emboldened by this letter, he determines to follow its instructions and confess his love to Olivia. Of course, the gawkers chase after him so they won’t miss seeing him be shot down by Olivia.

The letter Malvolio finds mentions that its mysterious author wants to see Malvolio in yellow stocking, “cross-gartered.”

Before the advent of elasticized socks, men wore their socks up to their knees held up by straps or garters. It seems that there were several ways of gartering your socks. The “regular” way would have had the garters running down the side of the leg, parallel to the leg. Cross-gartering instead runs the straps or bands in a criss-cross pattern up the calf and to the knee.

Here’s how that might have looked:

I have no idea just how bad of a fashion faux-pas this would have been in Shakespeare’s day but I’ll take a guess. If we translate that into contemporary terms, the letter might as well have said: “I would really love for you to wear these skin-tight black and fluorescent green bicycle shorts when we go out for brunch with my mother this weekend.”

While I mentioned that Feste is the clown in the play, the real clown – in many ways – is Malvolio. He’s the one everybody’s laughing at. And I’m guessing that Malvolio would have looked just as ridiculous to Shakespeare’s audience as he does to us wearing those bright yellow sock, cross-gartered.

If, like me, you like taking pleasure at the misfortunes of others, you won’t want to miss the next act!

Sonnet 50 read by sonneteer Erin Marie Byrnes.

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May 24, 2013 2

BB: Twefth Night, Act I

Artwork – Leigh MacRae

Welcome to the first act of the Bard Brawl’s sixth play, Twelfth Night!

I don’t know about you but after the labyrinthine confusion of Henry VI, part 1 and the utter bleakness of King Lear, I could use a bit of a pick-me-up.

Waddaya say to a little bit of cross-dressing, mistaken identity and drunken merriment where no one dies and which doesn’t end with the kingdom falling into chaos? I thought so.

Go ahead. I’ll give you a minute to top-up your drink.

Ready? So let’s get to it!

Listen to or download the podcast.

Act 1, scene 1 starts with the Duke Orsino sitting around with his musicians, pathetically pining after Olivia. His servant Curio asks him if he will go hunting ‘the hart’ and Orsino tells him that he is already hunting the finest ‘heart’ that beats, Olivia’s. Punderful. (Harts, for reasons that should be obvious, came up pretty often in love poetry in the Renaissance. Here’s a pretty popular example from Sir Thomas Wyatt, a man who had the misfortune of loving the same woman as Henry VIII.) Orsino’s messenger, Valentine (really Shakespeare?), arrives and informs Orsino that Olivia would not see him but sends the message that she has refused to take on suitors as she wishes to concentrate on mourning her lost brother. Morbid? Not if you;re Orsino, apparently.

The next scene, scene 2, takes place on the coast of Illyria. (Here’s a link.) There has been a shipwreck and Viola is one of the survivors. With her, the only other known survivor, the captain of the ship. The captain tells her they are in Illyria, in the lands governed by Duke Orsino. As a single woman with no resources and allies, Viola realised that she is vulnerable so she decides the enlist the captain’s help to disguise herself as a boy-eunuch and offer her services to the duke until she can figure out more about her situation.

Sir Toby belch stumbles onto the stage at the start of scene 3. He seems to think that she’s spent way too much time and energy mourning her dead brother and that she should lighten up and start worrying about the living. Specifically, it seems that Sir Toby is trying to fix his niece Olivia up with a certain Andrew Aguecheek whose chief quality is that he has money, although it seems that he’s not very good at holding on to it. In fact, he’s a total witless and clueless loser without a thought of his own. He makes a complete mess of his meeting with Maria, confusing terms of address with her name. In fact, he gets totally pwned by Maria. More drinking ensues.

The next scene is a short exchange between Duke Orsino and ‘Cesario’ (Viola in diguise). Not sure what the hiring process was like but Orsino seems to believe that ‘Cesario’ will be able to gain access to Olivia because he’s got gorgeous boyish features… As a final asside before the scene ends, Viola confessees that while she needs to woo Olivia on Orsino’s behalf, she herself has fallen for him.

In this final scene of act I we return to Olivia’s house. It seem her clown Feste has returned from some trip. She’s in no mood to laugh, though she bears Feste’s barbs lightly. Malvolio seems annoyed by Feste but Olivia calls him out for taking himself too seriously. ‘Cesario’ (Viola) is announced at the door but is initially refused entrance. However, it seems that like Orsino, Olivia cannot resist young boyish pages ans she allows Viola to enter. Viola starts with her rehearsed speech from Orsino but the two women quickly get into a war of wit which seems, in the end, only to inflame Olivia’s desire for the messenger, not the message. She tells Viola that she refuses Orsino’s advances but that she would willingly love to have a Cesario of her own… Viola leaves but Olivia, in order to make sure that ‘Cesario’ comes back, sends him a ring which she claims he left behind.

As you usual, we’ll end this week’s post with a list presenting the major characters in Twelfth Night. Hope it helps though this play is nowhere near as confusing as Henry VI part 1 or Taming of the Shrew:

Duke Orsino: The duke’s a love-obsessed fool who start of the play madly in love with Olivia. Honestly, he doesn’t really do much besides pine and complain. By the end of the play, he’ll hook up with Viola instead.
Viola: The main heroine of the play, Viola washes ashore in Illyria and disguises herself as a boy – Cesario – who is a page to Duke Orsino. Of course, she falls in love with him but all he wants her to do is woo Olivia on his behalf. She has a twin brother who looks exactly like her. Like, exactly. Somehow.
Sir Toby Belch: Olivia’s rowdy, drunk uncle. He seems to be the ringleader of a small group of drunken merry-makers. He takes a special pleasure in mocking the uptight Malvolio.
Maria: Lady Olivia’s servant. She takes the initiative in mocking Malvolio, who she feels is too uptight and serious. She’s eventually shack up with Belch.
Sir Andrew Aguecheek: One of Toby Belch’s friends and a suitor to Olivia. He’s basically a spineless, blubbering moron who Toby keeps around to fund his drinking and make fun of.
Feste, the Clown: This is lady Olivia’s clown or jester though, really, everyone spends most of their time laughing at Malvolio. He’s often considered one of Shakespeare’s best clown characters.
Olivia: A widow in mourning… although she’s not really mourning her husband, but her brother. Anyhow, she doesn’t want anything to do with Orsino. However, he does find his servant ‘Cesario’ to be to her liking. If only there was some way that could work out…
Malvolio: Olivia’s chamberlain, his job is to care for Olivia’s house. So, that makes him a middle-management administrator. Of course, Malvolio sees himself as upwardly mobile and dreams of marrying Olivia… which leaves him wide-open to Maria’s pranks. Think of him as the ugly ancestor of the strong protestant work ethic.
Sebastian: Viola’s twin brother. To be honest, he doesn’t have much of a personality though Viola tells us that her Cesario is copy of Sebastien in manner and dress. So, basically, Sebastian is a poor (wo)man’s Viola.
Antonio: An older gentleman who cares for Sebastian when he washes ashore in Illyria.

So get ready for act II, where Jay Reid… er, Sir Toby has a few more drinks and this party really gets going!

Bet this works out a touch better than the ending of King Lear.

Sonnet 48 read by first time sonneteer Eric Fortin.

(Also, how awesome is Leigh’s artwork for Twelfth Night?)

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May 17, 2013 0

She’s the Man (2006), Andy Fickman (director)

Zoey Baldwin

High school soccer movie She’s the Man’s hardly a match for Twelfth Night.

Twelfth Night, or What You Will—Shakespeare’s hilarious tale of mistaken identity and unrequited love—begins with a shipwreck on the shores of Illyria.

Or, in the case of the 2006 film She’s the Man, on the soccer pitch at Illyria boarding school. No one is presumed dead in this case; Sebastian Hastings (James Kirk (not the captain of NCC-1701-A)) has gone to London to play with his band without his parents’ knowledge.

After the girls soccer team at her school gets cut, his twin sister, Viola (Amanda Bynes), takes this as an opportunity to play soccer on her level—with the boys. And a wig. And a rather unconvincing voice timbre.

Viola hatches the switcharoo idea after her mother, who is dying for a debutante daughter, says, “Sometimes I think you might as well be your brother.” And one gratuitous salon montage underscored with an uppity chick rock cover of “You’re Gonna Make it After All” and complete with stick-on Yosemite Sam moustaches later, Viola sets her plan in action.

She tells each of her conveniently divorced parents she’s at the other’s house, and sets off for Sebastian’s new school. (Of course, this only works because no one at Illyria has met Sebastian yet.)

When Viola starts posing as Sebastian, she suddenly dons an awkward, half-southern accent and saying things like “Word, g-money.” Problems arise when her dreamy roommate, Duke Orsino (Channing Tatum) spots her tampons. To get out of the awkward situation, Viola sticks a tampon up her nose, claiming she uses them for nosebleeds.

Much like the play, Viola and Duke work out an arrangement. Viola will help Duke woo the gorgeous blonde Olivia (Laura Ramsay), and Duke helps Viola improve her soccer skills so she can make first string and kick her ex-boyfriend’s butt in the season opener. Too bad Viola is falling for Duke the whole time, and he thinks she’s her brother. Ruh-roh! Drama, drama, drama, happy ending ensues. I won’t spoil it for you.

There are a number of components in the film that could leave you scratching your head. Tatum’s Duke never seems suspicious that he’s living with a co-ed. I’m willing to suspend disbelief a little bit, but she’s not remotely convincing. The wig isn’t bad, sure, but how do the heart-to-hearts and awkward moments in the locker room not tip Duke off? And how does Olivia not realize she’s flirting with a girl?

As is the case with the original play, there’s no use trying to make sense of how a set of fraternal twins (of opposite genders) would be confused for one another. Or how when Sebastian suddenly returns from London/his watery grave, Olivia has no idea she wasn’t crushing on him all along. And so on.

This is all well and good. The play is not meant to be deep. But though the Bard’s original version is a light romp, it is filled with genuine laughs, pranks and chaos. She’s the Man, on the other hand, relies on kissing booths, debutante balls and chemistry lab partner dynamics. (Yes, Olivia falls for Viola/Sebastian in chemistry. What are the odds of that?!)

In addition to a fair dose of cheesiness:

a number of my favorite characters aren’t done their full justice—namely the staff in Olivia’s court like Feste, Maria, and the perpetually drunk Sir Toby Belch and Sir Andrew Aguecheek. True, in She’s the Man Duke has two teammates named Toby and Andrew, but they are in high school and, sadly, never drunk. (Just kidding! Stay in school, kids.)

We do get a solid dose of Malvolio in Olivia’s obsessive sidekick Malcolm Festes, but we never get to see him in yellow, cross-gartered stockings, which is disappointing. He even has a pet tarantula named Malvolio, which he pretends to lose in an attempt to prevent Viola/Sebastian from hooking up with Olivia.

The most famous verses work their way into the film, as expected, but it’s actually the only one that does. “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” is used as a cliché line from Duke after Viola’s true identity is revealed in the middle of their season opening soccer game. A bit out of context, if you ask me, considering that we see that line in Malvolio’s big speech when he reads the letter Maria writes to fool him into thinking Olivia holds a torch for him.

You might be asking yourself, why should I support a celebrity who’s spinning off the rails? But people, this is Amanda Bynes pre-bizarre Twitter habits. Whatever she claims has not snapped inside her head definitely hadn’t snapped yet, so this movie’s pretty easy watching.

She was cute once! I promise. Any All That fans out there?

If Bynes’ presence puts you off, perhaps your attention might be redeemed by Channing Tatum’s irresistible charm. Besides Tatum, the only other beacon in the movie is David Cross (Oops. I mean David Cross) as Illyria’s overly friendly headmaster, Horatio Gold. But even an Arrested Development alum can’t fully rescue this awkward, unconvincing adaptation.

Plus, let’s face it, no high school Shakespeare film will ever touch what 10 Things I Hate About You did for The Taming of the Shrew. (Heath Ledger’s adorable serenade of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” is forever burned on my brain.)

She’s the Man is pretty bland. I’d recommend it for sick days, if it comes on TBS or Bravo or something. Don’t go out of your way.

May 12, 2013 0

BB: Taming of the Shrew, the Speeches

Welcome to the speeches podcast for The Taming of the Shrew!

Listen to the podcast – here –

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artwork - Leigh Macrae — artwork – Leigh Macrae

We had a hard time finding worthy speeches for our Coriolanus speeches podcast because there was so much to choose from. In The Taming of the Shrew we have the opposite problem. Except for the passages we’ve picked out below, there just isn’t that much that just wants to stand up and be quoted. That’s because so much of the comedy in the play is physical: a lot of servants being slapped and pulled by the ears. Three Stooges kind of stuff.

All of the speeches for this podcast are from the Petruchio & Katharine subplot, because we’ve found that most of the memorable lines of the play belong to either Petruchio or Katharine. The other main plotline, the courtship and secret marriage between Lucentio & Bianca, just doesn’t have the depth and inventiveness that is so characteristic of Shakespeare. This subplot is just so… well, plot-heavy. Most of the fun is in tracking all of the characters as they swap clothing and identities on stage. Good for a laugh but not quite up to Shakespeare’s best.

“Such wind as scatters young men through the world…” Act I, Scene 2 lns. 48-74
Speakers: Petruchio, Hortensio
Petruchio runs into his friend Hortensio who asks him what brings him to Padua. He’s hoping to find a rich wife here in Padua. It’s not clear how rich Petruchio is but he clearly doesn;t think himself rich enough. Hortensio mentions Katharine to Petruchio who sees himself as up to the challenge of taming her so long as she comes with a rich dowry. While Petruchio is explicit that he’ll be happy with any wife so long as she’s rich, how sincere is he being? Wouldn’t Petruchio – based on what we learn about him over the course of the play – be bored out of his mind if he had married someone like Bianca instead? Isn’t there something ‘right’ about the Petruchio-Katharine match?

“Signior Petruchio, will you go with us…” Act II, Scene 1 lns. 164-196
Speakers: Baptista, Petruchio, Katharine
This is the first meeting between Petruchio and Kate and is one of the few times where these two characters are completely alone on stage. Petruchio tells us first how he plans to flatter Kate no matter what she does in order to win her over despite herself. When Katharine does arrive, she and Petruchio start trading insults and when Baptista returns, Petruchio declares that he’s won her over. When Katharine denies this, Petruchio just says that they’ve worked out a deal; Katharine will be kind and loving when she’s alone with him, but as shrewish as she wants when other people are around. What do you make of Petruchio’s courtship? Despite her denial, is some part of Kate won over despite what she says?

We’ve cut the exchange short but it’s worth listening to the whole thing. It’s one of the funniest exchanges in the play.

“Peter, didst ever see the like?” Act IV, Scene 1 lns. 159-192
Speakers: Nathaniel, Peter, Grumio, Curtis (Petruchio’s servants), Petruchio
This is where Petruchio outlines the final phase of his plan to tame Katharine. He describes how he’s going to “kill her [spirit] with kindness” by taking issue with everything that is done for her: nothing will be good enough for his darling Kate. He’s already sent away her supper and now he’s telling us how he’ll continue to starve her and deny her sleep until she’s reformed. How cruel is Petruchio’s plan? How far do we think he’d actually be willing to go to change Kate’s behaviour?

“Fie, fie! Unknit that threatening unkind brow…” Act V, Scene 2 lns. 140-183
Speaker: Katharine
Petruchio and the men have placed a wager on their wives: the one with the most obedient wife will win 100 crowns from the other two men. Lucentio and Hortensio call for their wives, but they refuse to come. When Petruchio calls for Kate, she arrives right away. He then asks her to fetch the other wives and when they return, Petruchio asks her to give them a sermon on the duties of a wife. This launches Katharine into the longest uninterrupted speech of the play. Does Petruchio actually manage to change Kate or is she just playing along? Does she mean what she says or is she and Petruchio just enjoying getting one over on everybody else? Is this something the audience is expected to take seriously or are we supposed to be laughing when she delivers her sermon?

Did we miss anything? Are there any passages you feel we’ve overlooked? Send us your hate mail / loving criticism!

Also, get your historian hats ready because next week the Brawlers read through part of Shakespeare’s take on the War of the Roses! (Go ahead and bookmark that page. You’ll thank us later.)

Bonus sonnet 26 read by Laura Pellicer.

(Podcast recorded and edited by Daniel J. Rowe, Show notes by Eric Jean)

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December 2, 2012 3

BB: Taming of the Shrew, Act V

Welcome to the final act of The Taming of the Shrew!

Listen to the podcast – here –

Download the podcast.

At the start of act V, scene 1 Biondello leads Bianca and Lorenzo away to the chapel moments before Petruchio and Kate arrive at Lucentio’s home with his father Vicentio in tow. Vincentio invites Kate and Petruchio inside for a drink but finds the door is locked and the pedant – still pretending to be Vicentio – denies his entrance. While they argue, Biondello returns on the scene. Vincentio recognises him but Biondello claims to have never seen him before. When Vincentio starts beating Biondello, Tranio – still disguised as Lucentio – comes out to me the aggressor. Of course, Vincentio recognises him but Tranio tries to convince Baptista that Vincentio’s crazy. They try to arrest Vincentio but Gremio (who it seems has met him before) identifies him as the true Vincentio. Soon after, the true Lucentio arrives on the scene and reveals his identity. He promises to clear all of this up and the whole party leaves for Baptista’s house.

NOTE: It is best to follow along with a text, as Jay, Eric, and Miki read multiple parts, and, though they alter their voices, and we make transformer noises when they change roles, it is a bit tricky to follow – much like the majority of Taming of the Shrew.

At last, in the final scene, all of the couples gather at a banquet in celebration of Bianca and Lucentio’s wedding: Lucentio and Bianca, Petruchio and Katherine, and Hortensio and the nameless widow. The couples engage in some verbal sparring and the women leave the men alone. The boys try to get in a few digs at Petruchio’s expense, claiming that he’s got the worse and most argumentative wife of all. Petruchio then proposes a wager: each husband will call for their wife to come meet them and whoever’s wife proves most obedient will win the wager: 100 crowns. Lucentio calls for Bianca but she replies that she is busy and cannot come. Hortensio then sends for his wife and she replies that she won’t come, that Hortensio should come to her instead. Lastly, Petruchio calls for Kate. To everyone’s surprise, she comes to Petruchio’s side right away. He then sends her to fetch the other wives. When they return, Petruchio asks Kate to explain to the other wives the duties they owe their husbands.

It’s a strange way to end such a light-hearted and bawdy play. After five and a half acts of good, (dis)honest fun, the play ends with a lengthy speech on the roles and responsibilities of men and women in marriage. What we make of this speech will determine what we make of the play and how we view Petruchio and Kate’s relationship in particular.

The Brawlers have mentioned this before: The Taming of the Shrew is an incomplete play. That is, Shakespeare hasn’t given us all of the information we need to interpret his ending. It doesn’t quite work as written. Is this supposed to be a serious speech, delivered by a wife so broken as to have lost the fiery spark which made her a compelling character – and not to mention, a perfect match for the madcap Petruchio? Or is this supposed to be delivered tongue-in-cheek, as a sort of insincere moral spoken by a Kate only to happy to have the last laugh over Bianca, the widow, Lucentio and Hortensio?

As written, the speech comes out of left field. When The Taming of the Shrew is staged as is, without adding or changing something to explain the nature of the ‘happily ever after’ ending, it can make it hard to believe. That’s why this play often falls flat: it feels either incomplete or rushed. How does the strong-minded Katharine become (seemingly) so meek and subservient so quickly? Why does she put up with this?

However, the play is rarely staged or adapted as is. In fact, this quality of the Taming of the Shrew might explain why it is one of Shakespeare’s most often adapted and staged plays. The Brawlers (Daniel, Miki and Laura) have reviewed three movie adaptations over the course of recording this play: Jonathan Miller’s The Taming of the Shrew (2004), Zeffirelli’s The Taming of the Shrew (1967), and Gil Junger’s 10 Things I Hate About You (1999). As the play doesn’t provide all of the answers to the questions it raises, it invites outside intervention and re-invention. It’s practically begging for someone to come along to finish writing or editing it.

I suppose if you have to co-write something you could pick a worse partner than Shakespeare.

Let us know what you think!

Bonus sonnet 10 ready by Sonneteer Maya Pankalla.

(Podcast recorded and edited by Daniel J. Rowe, Show notes by Eric Jean)

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November 26, 2012 2

BB: Taming of the Shrew, Act IV

Welcome to act IV of The Taming of the Shrew!

Listen to the podcast – here –

Download the podcast.

Having skipped the wedding feast, Kate and Petruchio make their way to Petruchio’s estate at the start of act IV. In the first scene, Grumio arrives at Petruchio’s estate ahead of the new couple in order to ensure that everything is in order to welcome them home. He gives a short account of their trip and concludes that Petruchio is far more shrewish than Kate ever was. Petruchio and Kate arrive and dinner is served. However, Petruchio pretends to take issue with the supper because it’s not good enough for his new wife and he sends her off to bed. Petruchio then confides in the audience how he plans to break Kate: he’ll starve her and deprive her of sleep so that she’ll have no choice but to bow to his wishes.

We return to Bianca and her suitors in scene 2. Lucentio (disguised as Cambio of course) professes to teach Bianca about the Art of Love, most likely a reference to Ovid’s Ars Amatoria. Ovid’s book is basically a handbook for managing relationships, one of the main themes of The Taming of the Shrew. When Bianca wishes ‘Cambio’ good luck in his courtship, Tranio (disguised as Lucentio) pretends to be deeply offended by her lack of constancy: she swore to love only Lucentio and now here she is wishing ‘Cambio’ good luck. This convinces Hortensio to drop his disguise and both he and Tranio swear to give up their pursuit of Bianca. Hortensio will instead marry a rich widow. Once he leaves, the three conspirators – Bianca, Tranio and Lucentio – realise that all they need now is an old man to play the role of Lucentio’s father so he can give his consent to the terms of the marriage. Biondello points out a suitable pedant (a merchant, basically) and Tranio quickly convinces him to play the role of Vincetio, Lucentio’s father.

Scene 3 picks up where Petruchio left off. Kate is begging Grumio for food who keeps offering up alternatives then shooting them down as inappropriate to his new mistress. She bets him for toying with her. Petruchio (and Hortensio who has come to Petruchio’s ‘Taming School’) walks in and offers Kate some food. He threatens to take it away when she fails to thank him for his kindness. He then calls in a tailor and a haberdasher who he had commissioned to make new clothes for Kate. He claims that none of these outfits are good enough for his precious Kate and turns the clothiers out despite Kate’s protests. He decides they’ll head back to Baptista’s house dressed as they are. He thinks they can make it in time for supper but Kate points out that it’s later than he thinks. He responds that it will be whatever time he says it is.

Now that Tranio, Lucentio and Bianca have beaten away the other suitors and found a stand-in for Vincentio, it time in scene 4 for Lucentio and Bianca to sneak away to get married in secret while Tranio and the pedant secure Baptista’s final blessing for the union of Bianca and Lucentio. Tranio brings Baptista inside to finish the paperwork freeing the way for the lovers to slink off in secret. The hope is that once they are legally married, and have a document singed by Baptista’s hand stating that he consents to the marriage, it will be too late for him to do anything about it and he’ll have to abide by the letter of his contract.

In scene 5 Petruchio finishes his taming of Kate: he argues that it is night but Kate points out that the sun is shining. He says that it will be whatever time of day or night he says. When they come across a traveller, Kate greets him only to be told by Petruchio that he is actually a young maiden. She address the old man as a woman but Petruchio mocks her for doing so. She apologizes to the old man. This must be the point at which Petruchio decides he’s won because he doesn’t toy with her any further. They offer to have the old man travel to Padua with them and they discover that they are going to the same place: this is Vicentio, Lucentio’s father.

What are we supposed to make of a play in which one of the main plot points revolves around starving and mentally abusing a woman? This is the main objection of contemporary audiences to The Taming of the Shrew.

Petruchio essentially tortures Kate into submission. He begins by denying her sleep and food. Then, once she’s hungry and exhausted, he bullies her into compliance by contradicting her at every turn. At last, exhausted and exasperated, she has no choice but to agree to whatever inane statements and commandments he feels like making.

One thing which Miki pointed out during our recording of this act is that Shakespeare is adapting a story motif which was very popular in folk tales and fabliaux which, by Shakespeare’s time, had long circulated in England. In many of these stories, the violence done to the shrew is taken to much further extremes, with the very few acts beyond the scope of what was acceptable for a man to use when matched with a shrewish wife.

I said on air that a shrew was a type of bird similar to a small hawk which was used by huntsmen in late 16th century England. In fact, I made a case that the title Taming of the Shrew puns on the notion of training birds of prey. The method most often used to break the bird to the falconer, as described in late medieval and early Renaissance falconry manual, is very much like what is done to Kate. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find any etymological evidence to support my claim. So, while I might be wrong about the title and the word “shrew” itself (which actually describes a small rodent), that parallel still exists in the play. In fact, it might partially explain why the whole thing is set up in this way by the prelude’s lord and his huntsmen. This would suggest that Kate is a wild beast – specifically a small rodent thought at the time to possess as venomous bite – that needs to be broken in and civilized by Petruchio. It also suggests that Christopher Sly (and maybe even the audience?) is no better than an animal who the lord sees as his responsibility to tame.

Is that really the purpose of the play? Who is learning what in the end? And does Shakespeare somehow manage to elevate The Taming of the Shrew above the level of misogynist farce?

I’ll let you decide.

Don’t forget to visit and support Jay Reid‘s film’s Indiegogo page. It’s called “Byline” and he needs money.

(Podcast recorded and edited by Daniel J. Rowe, Show notes by Eric Jean)

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November 14, 2012 2